A Drive to Pune with my Adorable Little Brat!

The other day I traveled to Pune and back with the brat. It is a journey I have done umpteen times before, but this one was unnerving because a) it was the first time I was doing it on my ownsome lonesome and b) I was traveling not by car but by an AC bus with a baby car seat still attached to my little brat. Call me chicken, come on, I dare you.

As is the norm with me, worst case scenarios always present themselves in slide show format in my mind before I undertake any such acts of bravery. At the last minute, I almost called off the trip, but then steeled my heart and ventured forth.

The brat, thank the Lord, is a much better behaved child than he used to be; I still remember with horror the flight back from Bangalore, which was delayed interminably and all I remember is running around the old Bangalore terminal in circles trying to keep sight of the brat! This time, I could take the risk of hoping that the brat sat peaceably in a single seat for the duration of the journey, four to five hours, without having me pluck out each strand of hair from my head in frustration.

I was also a wee bit worried because the brat has been known to suffer from motion sickness. I have unpleasant memories of drives to Goa, when the entire contents of his stomach were heaved into every corner of the car, my clothes and my hair. I debated about giving him Avomine before the journey, but decided against it – I didn’t want him drowsy and sleepy through the journey.

I would not mention the V word, and instead treat the trip like one big adventure. And so we did. It was a mamma and brat adventure; waiting for the bus at the pickup point, keeping him in charge of the bags (all of two), having him find the seats in the bus, making him count the red cars on the road, giving him a Rubik’s cube to keep him occupied, pointing out hotspots like the DY Patil cricket stadium (known to him courtesy IPL), and not letting him eat anything through the journey.

We made it safe and sound to Pune and back. I really had to be amazed at the sturdiness of the baby car seat that I bought online. If you guys are interested to buy baby car seats, contact me and I will give you the list of best brands available. The boy helped me with the luggage, behaved himself, managed to keep himself entertained, and slept a fair bit of the way. Could it be, shudder, shudder, that the child has actually grown up?

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The Everyday Superhero in Our Lives - The Incredibles

We walk around in our milk and pureed food-stained clothes. Contact lenses a thing of the past and the once-upon-a-time-never-to-be-seen-in-public glasses, now firmly pushed on our noses. Our hair greasy from the fine sheen of drool and the occasional spit-up.

As we move through public places, scrunched over baby strollers or slings and baby carriers dangling from our chest, dressed in our baggy shirts and flat shoes, we are comfortable in our public personas. No one knows about the powers that are concealed within. Our secret identities remain secret.

That baggy top with the loose sleeves shield our biceps that are now bulging thanks to carrying around our little ones. What passers-by will never know from looking at our flip-flop clad feet is the power of lightening speed that they possess. The power to dash at a speed unseen to the naked eye as our precious baby breaks into a wail in her crib or hurtles towards the wall on all fours or vrooms past in the walker that she/he was just gifted.

No one knows that our unremarkable looking ears will test positive for the gift of supersonic hearing- an imperceptible sigh, the slightest wail, the beginning of a sneeze – you name it, we hear it. Hey, sometimes we hear it even before it happens. (But then that could possibly be a side-effect of extreme sleep deprivation as well.)

And then, of course there is the eye sight. Don’t let the dark shadows underneath them or the aforementioned eye- glasses fool you, we miss nothing. From the tiny speck of non-existent dust or the barely visible red welt on her leg that may or may not be a mosquito bite. (Fingers crossed hoping it’s not a mosquito bite!)

Oh and six months of exclusive nursing (in both public and private places) later, we all know how blurry the line between inner and outer wear becomes, much like those other popular figures who wear their inner wear as normal attire.

And sure, to the non-superhero public that shawl is just a nursing shield, but we, the members of the league of extraordinary women know it as an essential part of a superhero costume – the cape and a super baby car seat to get the kid secure on a wild ride to the supermarket, school or anywhere else!

Who are we?
Just your everyday mother by day and a superhero in disguise every other moment, from the time we became mothers.

Like they say in the Incredible, we are no one but “average people, average citizens quietly and anonymously making the world a better place”.

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Why is it important to buy car seat for baby in India?

Using a Breast Pump – Guidance for Mothers

For working women, a breast pump is a godsend that allows them to express their milk and store it for use in the course of the working day when they might not be around to feed their babies. This allows mothers to express quickly, without the tedium of manual expression, and saves time, which is often scarce.

Kiran Manral talks to Cee Kay*, Mother of two children aged 12 and 4 now, about her experiences with a breast pump. She used the breast pump for her second child.

Why did you start using a breast pump? How old was your child then?

I started using breast pump to augment supply by day 15 or so (I don’t remember exact day). I was having lactation problems.

Did you research the models in the market before buying one? What were the parameters you looked for?

I first rented a pump from the hospital for about two months to see if it would help me at all. Once I verified that pumping did help my supply, I bought Medela’s “Pump in Style” because my research indicated that it was one of the best models available. A friend had it as well and she highly recommended it.

This one also comes with dual shields/pumps which save time as you can pump both breasts at the same time. The features I looked for were:

1. Dual pumps.
2. Hospital grade.
3. Had to have graduated suction levels.
4. Had to be easy to carry since I planned to pump at work.
5. Had to have a discreet case that I could carry to and from work without it being too obvious. I bought the backpack style for easy carrying option.

For how long did you use the breast pump and why did you stop?
I used it for a little over three months and I stopped after my supply dwindled to about three ounces for the whole day. I grudgingly realized that I wasn’t lactating and that it was just not worth the stress.

What would you advise women who want to start using a breast pump?
My Ob-Gyn strongly dissuaded me from using one after my first delivery. If I had used one, my first daughter could have gotten at least a few months of breast milk. I regret that. Get a second opinion if that happens to you.

Second, there is no shame in using a breast pump. Don’t let anyone tell you that.

Third, don’t overdo it. The guidelines usually allow for pumping for 20 minutes on each side. I ignored that once and over-pumped. I got swollen ducts as a result and my supply went further down. I still regret that.

How did using a breast pump help you?
It made me feel like I gave it my best shot. I know I worked hard and tried my best – if it didn’t work even after that, then so be it. Frankly, my daughters have thrived on formula too, so in the event of not having enough milk, it is okay if you need to supplement with or switch over to formula.

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What I Learnt From My Mother about Parenting

Infant health, infant milestones, baby care and toddler health are a vast minefield of uncertainties for the young mother. With the parenting advice and communities available on the Internet, and ease of connection on social networking sites and blogs, shopping sites with a vast collection of pregnancy dresses, one wonders if young mothers still turn to their own mothers for parenting tips.

It takes a village to raise a child. The child’s maternal grandmother was the elder traditionally at the forefront of that village. Has this changed in the current generation? Whom do new mothers trust for pregnancy tips through the challenging nine months and positive parenting tips for the exhausting toddler years?

A few mothers pay tribute to what their own mothers taught them about parenting!
Positive Discipline and Responsibility. Jennifer Pinto, 35, a Zumba Instructor in Bangalore, tends to ask her more experienced women friends about dilemmas in parenting her 3 year old son David. “Still, certain aspects of my mother’s parenting have influenced me,” she says. Jennifer has taught David to clear up his toys after play, and to put back anything he takes out. “I believe that getting a child to participate goes a long way towards helping him become a contributing member of society.” Jennifer feels that watching her mother parent her sister and herself has inspired her to start positive discipline and teach responsibility early in David’s life.

The Right Baby Books. “I prefer parenting books!” laughs Megha Pai, 31, Mumbai-based stay-at-mother to a 5 year old daughter. “But, I admit that I copied my mother in that! I remember her array of books including Dr. Spock’s Baby Care, recipe books for children’s favorite foods, and books on infant health and homeopathy.” Seeing her mother using ‘bookish’ advice has given Megha the confidence to also search for her answers in books from the parenting and infant care genres. “I don’t care when people mock me for relying on parenting books. I’ve learnt and grown as a mother, and I feel my daughter is happier, as a result.”

Sibling Differences. Priya Rao, 35, a stay-at-home mom currently on a break from a legal career in Bangalore, has been inspired by her mother-in-law. “Becoming a mom for the second time was a bit challenging. My two daughters, aged 1 and 3.5, are very different from each other in certain ways.” Priya was strengthened by learning about her mother-in-law’s equanimity in accepting differences between her grown-up son and daughter. “She always says that two children born to the same parents are still going to be completely different. She has had so much grace in tailoring her parenting to the unique needs and personalities of each of her children. It’s helped me change my expectations and appreciate what’s special about both my daughters.”

The Importance of Touch. Monika Manchanda, 35, mother to 3 year old Ojas, is a Software Freelancer based in Bangalore. “I was quite a nervous new mother, scared even to give my baby an oil-massage,” she says, and recalls the infant care tips from her mother, “Give the baby enough touch and love; that is what will bond you both and go a long way in building a relationship. Trust your instincts. Be careful but not afraid… whatever you do, know that you can’t break the baby!”

Grandma’s influence and inspiration has not been sidelined by these mothers. Possibly, faster communication, parenting books and other resources only augment the basic support that a woman traditionally offers her daughter in mothering. Let’s not forget how the internet has helped mothers boost their morale with comfortable maternity dresses online and other maternity wear that helps them go out in style and live their life with confidence.